It has been a very long time since I posted anything about Jeremiah. That's because it has been a very unpredictable time for him and I wasn't entirely sure about what to post. 

Anyone who knows me well, knows I do NOT like change...period! I am getting better, be it ever so slowly (slower than a bead of sweat rolls off an Eskimo's nose in winter).

We had been in prayer about Jeremiah's school situation for over a year when we began to seriously consider other placements for him. Read the article I published with Autism Parenting Magazine titled, When Special Education Fails to Be Special (Issue 81) for a glimpse at some hints  about why we were looking for a new school in the first place. It had become a necessity, not optional.

We applied at two schools. One put us on a waiting list that could see Jeremiah well past the age of 22 before he ever won that lottery. One school, after reading his ABA report said, "Thanks, but no thanks." Looking back, I can see God's hand in these closed doors, as they were charter or public school options and Jeremiah would not have been allowed to have his one-on-one ABA with him...a sure recipe for disaster.

We had pretty much resigned to another year of his current placement when we were in line at Dairy Queen for the end-of-season ice cream party for Buddy Baseball. I was talking to another player's mom and we were commiserating about the perils of special needs and puberty in our sons. She mentioned how blessed and thankful they were for his school. My ears perked up. After more conversation, I went home, looked up the school online, and talked it over with John. We prayed for a week or two and then decided to apply.

Broach School is run by Children's Education Services, a Christian education provider. The principal called me the week before Thanksgiving break and set up a time to speak with John and I. She was gracious, kind, sympathetic to our plight to find the best possible education for Jeremiah in the time he has left in school, and super informative. She didn't sugar coat things and didn't try to sell us the moon. She simply said that Jeremiah would learn and be loved at her school. She offered to let him shadow for one whole day before the holiday break and we agreed.

After that day spent in a classroom with his ABA (who wholeheartedly approved of the new school) and surrounded by peers closer to his age and ability, we made the decision to switch schools, but wait until after the Christmas break to do so. We knew the transition would be easier that way and it worked out best for his McKay scholarship so that the new school would not have to rely on the old school to send them funds for part of that last quarter.

Still, it was a hard decision, not made lightly or without much prayer, and ultimately, only time would tell if we had truly made the right decision or not. And, as is my obsessive-compulsive, leave-no-stone-unturned way, I made a physical list of the pros and cons of switching schools so that I could see in black and white what my heart already knew what was the best choice for Jeremiah...notice I didn't say the comfortable choice for me! Giving our notice to the old school and answering all of the questions as to why we were relocating him was most uncomfortable.

Here is my list:

Former School:
Pros:

• Garden – However, Jeremiah has not done any actual gardening in the garden since his first year there. Gardening was supposed to be each class’s science. The last two years, no gardening has happened at all.
• Sensory Gym – Jeremiah needed and loved this his first two years. Now he is simply too big for it and it is unstructured time that tempts him to misbehave.
• Better technology and newer/more updated building/classrooms/playground – nice paint on walls, flat screen TV’s in all of the rooms, new carpet, etc…
• Close to home – about 7 minutes away.
• Lunch Service – Though at $5/day, we only order once a week for Jeremiah anyway. He packs his lunch the rest of the week.
• Calm down room – admittedly, Jeremiah has had to frequent this room often.
• Community-based training for older kids.
• School run by two families with special needs kids of their own.
• On-site speech therapy.

 Cons:

• Approximately 3 hours of unstructured time daily – leftover elective time, task box time, sensory gym time, recess, quiet time, time spent waiting for other kids to have PCM implemented or teacher to regain control of the classroom due to behavioral issues, movie times on Fridays.
• Most classmates are non-verbal and so there are no peers that Jeremiah can learn/practice social cues from/with (eye contact, conversation skills, etc…)
• Neither teacher nor aide are licensed teachers with college education in special needs education. This year’s teacher is a parent of a student at the south Tampa campus. Last year’s teacher was principal’s brother-in-law.
• No continuity of teachers – though Jerry has for the most part stayed with the same kids/class from year to year, including the two teachers who filled in one year when one of his teachers resigned/was let go early, he has had 6 different teachers in 3 ½ years (Jessica, Tiffany N., other Ms. Tiffany, Gaby, Paul, Edward).
• No standardized testing or other testing of any kind to assess where students are or the progress they have made – though tuition package includes $500 for testing.
• When originally toured the school, we were shown classrooms specifically set aside for life skills, such as folding clothes, putting away and hanging clothes, dishes, bed-making, etc… Those rooms have long since been emptied to make room for more students.
• Was told the goal was to keep the student population at no more than 50 or so students to maintain small class size and low-student:teacher ratios. Currently nearly 100 students in the building, along with more than twenty staff when you consider administration, teachers, paraprofessionals, and ABA/speech/physical therapists.
• Car line…need I say more.
• $17,000 tuition – over and above what McKay pays for Jeremiah and so we have had to pay out-of-pocket.
• Two bathrooms with a total of three toilets in the building for approximately 130 people, some of whom are kids not toilet trained or who have very little control over urges to relieve themselves. Clear violation of OSHA regulations/standards. Parents told to send change of clothes to school daily in case of accidents.
• Parents not communicated with regularly on what kids are learning in class on a weekly/daily basis. Haven’t had a parent/teacher conference for Jeremiah since year two.
• Everyone is on a certificate track. There is no differentiation between the lower and higher functioning kids by classroom.
• School less than five-years-old…still growing and learning and working the kinks out.
• $500 curriculum fee per student. Approximate cost per classroom for Unique Learning Systems curriculum and access is $600-$700.  Times the $500 curriculum fee by ten students in the classroom and the fact that we are all asked to provide reams of paper to print the curriculum on and we are being grossly overcharged for curriculum.
• Jerry has been there 3 ½ years and he is still working towards meeting the same IEP goals from 2015.

Both Schools:

• Private and accept McKay Scholarship.
• Unique Learning Systems curriculum used.
• No structured P.E., art, or music…other than crafts in the classroom and playground time.
• Volunteer hours mandatory – I am the Box Top momma!
• Pizza day every Friday.
• Can have one-on-one ABA with him daily.
• Active PTO.
• Teachers PCM trained.
• Field trips and fun events at school/in class.
• Life skills training is a part of the daily curriculum.

New School:
Pros:

• $5,000 less tuition totally covered by Jeremiah’s McKay Scholarship and so extra is being applied to bus fare so…
• NO CAR LINE! Also, taking the bus from door-to-door saves me time and gas and promotes independence for Jeremiah.
• Community-based training for older kids.
• More run like typical school in the sense that they elect student body positions and really give the kids a say in “extras” at the school.
• Uniforms – no more school clothes shopping and everyone is on the same page!
• Classmates are all verbal and so there are peers that Jeremiah can learn/practice social cues from/with (eye contact, conversation skills, etc…)
• Teachers are all licensed teachers with college educations in special needs education. Most also have ABA background.
• Continuity of teachers – met the lead teacher who stated that she would “never want to work anywhere else.” That is the sign of a healthy school!
• Standardized testing three times a year to assess where students are or the progress they have made – done verbally for non-readers.
• Independence of students encouraged. They walk to the lunchroom with their lunches unsupervised and are allowed to go to the restroom unattended.
• Small student population – definitely under 100 students for small class size and low-student:teacher ratios.
• Ample bathrooms to accommodate number of students/staff.
• Parents given access to a communication app where they can login to student’s classroom and see daily notes/updates from teacher on what class is working on and how their student is doing.
• App students with phones or iPads can access to answer teacher questions and play learning games that boost their grades and record for the teachers their response times to questions and give them a more accurate indicator of where they are. Laptops and iPads available for students who don’t have their own.
• There are three tracks for the kids to be on, regardless of elementary, middle school, or high school. There is high school diploma track, certificate track, and life skills track, each tailored to meet the individual needs of students.
• Children’s Educational Services runs the 7 schools statewide and they have been around since 2009.
• Christian-based – They teach character as a part of their curriculum.
• Develop sports teams and arrange games between different CES schools in the state.
• Only unstructured time is approximately 20 minutes at the end of the day to pack up and get ready to go home.
• Statistically, students that begin attending this school behind “catch up” to where they need to be or at least make significant progress by the end of the first year.
• Each child is given their own login to Unique Learning Systems where curriculum tailored to their level is available. They actually complete a portion of their daily work online. Teacher also prints worksheets from their profile to match their level. Whole class may be covering kinetic and potential energy in science, but each child in the class is taught it on their level so they can understand it.
• They teach ASL the last hour of every day to all of the students.

 Cons:

• Further away – but this was already resolved with the pro of him taking the bus.
• Campus/classrooms/playground older and not as up-to-date.

So there you have it, a sneak peak inside my crazy train brain! But making this list helped me see things objectively, from a good perspective, and not through the lens of my emotions. Jeremiah had been at his old school for three years. He had friends there. He was comfortable and knew the routine there. They had seen him through some pretty rough years between puberty and his superior mesenteric artery syndrome. 

But when it came right down to it, Jeremiah goes to school to learn. Period. And when learning is not taking place and regression is even occurring, you have to make decisions that may make people uncomfortable, hurt feelings, and even offend others. But doing what's best for Jeremiah has got to be my only objective as his mom and advocate.

He has been at Broach for four months now and, while the suspense may be killing you, I am going to make you wait until the end of this school year to update you on his progress at the new school. Hint: There is so much to share!

Today is day three of the new school year and, so far, we are off to a great start. His first two days were gold star days. 

We had an awesome summer, probably the best we've had since Jeremiah was very little. Usually, the countdown to summer vacation is a tearful, anxiety-filled one, wondering how I will get through 80-something days in a row of 24/7 behavior issues. But not this summer. We went to Adventure Island swimming, we went to the movies, we did some gardening, played some games, had a bunch of lazy days at home, and I have to say, I was genuinely sad to see him go back that first day. I missed him!

He was ready though. By August 1st, he was obsessing over the countdown of days until open house, pacing the house and talking to himself about who his teacher might be, who would be in his class, what I would pack him for lunch, if quiet time would still be a thing this year, etc...

On our part, there was some apprehension for another reason. I can't lie. We were praying and hoping that Jeremiah would be accepted into another school, for various reasons. We applied for a different school back in April and even toured the new school, John and I at least. We were thrilled. They were more like a real school, with classroom transitions, real textbooks assigned to each student, testing to see where they are at academically and track their progress, teachers with Bachelor's or Masters in education, an actual lunchroom that makes and serves hot lunches daily, a library, a computer lab, tons of school clubs covering a wide array of student interests, a sports program, and PE, art, and music, all of which he currently does not have unless a volunteer just happens to come in and teach it to the kids sporadically. It's just more well-rounded. They also go year-round with only about 6 weeks of summer, understanding the importance of continuity and routine for special needs kids. And during that six weeks of summer they have a half-day camp-style program for the kids that keeps them learning while they have fun and is taught by newly graduated education majors at out local university. To make up for the rest of the summer, they have a fall break, two weeks at spring break, and three weeks at Christmas.

And did I mention that it is FREE?! Jeremiah's current tuition is a whopping $17,000 a year! That's more than a calendar year's tuition at the University of South Florida for perspective. 

Most importantly, this other school has a transition program that far exceeds the one where he is now. At age 18, Jeremiah will begin transitioning from school into a real-life job skill training phase that will last until he is 22. At the school he is currently at, the adult students remain in the same academic classroom learning the same curriculum as their younger school-aged peers for the entire school day. Once a month or so, they are taken on random field trips to our local Publix to bag groceries for an hour or two or to a locally-owned restaurant to learn how to serve customers and bus tables. 

At the school we tried to get Jeremiah into, they have a transition program that starts before the kids even turn 18. We saw their job skills classroom and it was amazing. They have a full-service coffee-shop where the students learn to barista and the teachers and other school personnel can place orders to be filled. The kids even learn to work the cash register and credit card machine as the school employees pay for their drinks. They also have their own eBay store and they teach the kids how to list things for sale or auction and then how to mail the items once they have sold. They have a sewing center for kids who like to sew to learn how to make garments or repair them. This is all in addition to a completely separate culinary classroom where kids interested in cooking can go and learn that skill as well.

And the students don't sit in a typical classroom after they turn 18 and graduate high school either. They have a transition building where the students spend half of every school day. There they learn job etiquette, basic job skills, social skills, financial independence skills, and so much more. Notice I said they spend only half the day in that classroom. That's because they spend the second half of every single school day at an actual job site working supervised. And the school is paired with the sheriff's department, Moffitt Hospital, a local coffee shop, and more so that the kids have options. Now can you see why we were so stoked?!

But alas, we are not the only ones who know this school is a Godsend. There is an insane waiting list to get in. Jeremiah was in the lottery for two of their three campuses in May, but he did not get selected. He is now on the waiting list and, whenever a spot opens in his grade level, another lottery will be held for those students waiting to get into that grade level. So we wait and take it one day at a time until then, knowing that, for whatever reason, God has chosen not to open that door yet. The fact that we could even consider this new school is a miracle in and of itself really. Years ago, before we considered Jerry's current school, we looked into this other one. But Jeremiah's behavior was so out-of-control and unpredictable, we feared it would not be a good fit for him. Now, that is not the case at all. Praise God!

Here's the bottom line. No one, absolutely no one can be responsible for your child's education other than you...the parent...whether they are typical or special needs. You are their best educator and their best advocate. Period. So what to do? Well, we are working on that. I can live knowing that he does not have routine lessons in art, music, or PE, but I feel obligated to do something about where he will be and what he will be learning after he turns 18. I want him to be as independent as he possibly can be and teach him skills for life that will set him up for success in the future long after John and I have passed. Again, we are working on that very proactively right now and have some great ideas in mind and will reveal them when we are further along in the planning process.

For now, we are past the disappointment that he is at the same school this year and resigned to it being God's will for such a time as this. Instead, we will make the most of it, help his teachers anyway we can, support the school through our volunteer hours, and by golly, have a good attitude doing it (most days). LOL! God's still working on me with that!

We were thrilled to know that his teacher this year is Mr. Edward, the para in his room from last year. Mr. Edward is the uncle to one of Michaela's friends that she was homeschooled with and who was in several plays with through our local homeschool co-op. He has a great plan for this year, has a child with special needs himself, will challenge Jeremiah and expect more from him than Jeremiah thinks he is capable of, understands that they are entering young adulthood, and most importantly, he is a CHRISTIAN. God is good. Here are some pictures of Jerry's new classroom and with Mr. Edward and his para Ms. Ashley.

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In youth one night this past semester, we had the kids doing a writing assignment of some kind. I don't even remember what it was now. Wanting to feel like he was a part of what they were doing, Jerry grabbed paper and a pencil and started writing. He wrote his name, he copied the title of the book we had been studying all year, and then he wrote Jesus. I didn't think anything of it until I read it all together later that evening. It looked like a letter from Jesus to Jerry. "Jerry Bertic, Do Hard Things. Jesus"

And so he has. With the end of the school year, I can finally share some achievements with everyone. Here is what Jerry's writing looked like at the start of this past school year:
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Here is what it looked like at the end:

Here is his math from the beginning of this year. The wrinkles and rips are evidence of his frustration.

Here is his most recent math worksheet:

He also finished his interactive metronome therapy this past week and his final assessment showed a remarkable improvement since his initial assessment. During the IM therapy, the OT specialist worked on Jerry memorizing his phone number and his address. He did both, quite well too. He can tell you them from memory and put visuals of them in order when placed in front of him. 

Behaviorally speaking, here are the stats of his days this past year compared to last:

                          Gold                       Silver                       Bronze
Last Year            73                          31                            48                            
This Year            109                        17                             15 

We are so proud of all of the progress he made despite his health issues. He had an INCREDIBLE teacher, who loved him, challenged him, encouraged him, and believed in him. She made such a difference.

And it doesn't look like Jerry is done doing hard things either. We made goals in youth group several weeks back and here is what Jerry wants to accomplish:

You go little man, you go.

Overall, Jerry is doing pretty well in school this year. He is working more independently at times and grasping more concepts. He still gets easily frustrated when something is "too hard." Right now, that is spelling. It is the cause of many meltdowns, tantrums, aggressive outburts, and quite a few choice curse words (hmmm, if only he could spell those). His ABA's and I have been working diligently to make spelling more "fun" and less difficult for him. That in itself has been a challenge. There are only so many ways to learn to spell besides memorization and sounding out the words, and let's face it, the English language is hard! Unless of course, you have Pinterest!

So, Jerry gets 10 new spelling words every two weeks before he is tested on them. Time to get creative. We have used his cards to play Tic Tac Toe and BINGO. We have given him letter beads and pipe cleaners to practice spelling his words with. We have hidden his words around the living room and given him a Nerf gun and ammo to hunt them down and blast them with. We have written his words with a dry erase marker on the back glass door to shoort his sticky Nerf bullets at. It's been a little crazy. Jerry doesn't just learn by hearing and seeing. He needs to be doing. It's how things "stick" for him.

Enter Pinterest. I have made some of these ideas links to give credit where credit is due.

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I have been writing this post in my head now for the better part of this last year, starting with Jerry's first day of school. 

School days, ahh the rituals. Whether you homeschool of send your kids to school outside your home everyday, there are annual rituals that mark going back to school. Lesson plans are made, curriculum and backpacks bought. Figuring out co-op schedules and extracurriculars, school supply shopping, open houses to meet teachers. It's a frenzy that is both exciting for the anticipation of what the new year holds for your child and a little bittersweet too, as it marks another rite of passage, another year and grade older.

For most parents, back to school routines are just that by now, routine. You've been there and done that enough times now that it's really no big deal. You drop them off on their first day with hugs to quell those first day jitters and encouragement for what lies ahead.

Then there are parents of special needs kids. "Did I remember to pack the only food he will eat? I can't forget to give them a supply of his lunch time medication and a prescription so they will give it to him. Does he have his iPad? I wonder who his teacher will be this year and if she has a background in behavior therapy. I hope that one boy who he fed off of last year behaviorally isn't in his class this year...for the teacher's sake. Did I put enough independent activities in his classroom box so the teacher can keep him busy while she is helping other students? I wonder what life skills they will be teaching this year. Did I pack his toilet wipes in case the aide needs to help him wipe? Did I pack an extra pair of clothes for his locker in case he has another accident? Does he have socks to keep at school for the sensory gym? I wonder who his aide will be this year? Did I remember to send his token boards back in and behavior reinforcements for them to use to motivate him? I wonder what days he will be pulled out of class for speech therapy and did I remember to give them his latest evaluation from All Children's? Did I pack him snack cart money so he has something to work for? What are their PCM procedures this year (professional crisis management)? And the list goes on! It's crazy and that's just MY list! Other parents may worry about does their child's school have cool down rooms where kids can be kept safe during meltdowns and how do they prevent and deal with "runners?"

Special needs kids are, well, special. And special needs classrooms, schools, and teachers need to be special too. And here is where my experience gets more personal. Because we had such a different school year this year than we did the previous one, I have a unique perspective that I pray other special needs parents will never have to gain.

Both this year and last, Jerry attended schools designed to educate and meet the needs of special needs students. The similarities stop there. Let me elaborate. I will use the name of Jerry's current school in this post, the Impact Academy, because they are wonderful and I am proud that he goes there. Out of the modicum of respect I have for the unanimity of his previous school, I'll call them "Mace," which just so happens to rhyme with their actual name and has as many letters. Oops.

• At Mace, Jeremiah had four teachers in one school year, which wreaked havoc both academically and emotionally in the life of a kid with autism who thrives on structure and routine. At Impact, Jerry has had one amazing teacher the entire school year.
• At Mace, as long as teachers were breathing and had a pulse, they were deemed qualified to teach special needs kids. I know this to be fact because Jerry's last teacher at Mace had never taught in a typical classroom before, let alone a classroom of special needs children. In fact, his job before "teaching" at Mace was at a car rental company. At Impact, not only do the teachers actually have college degrees, but the majority of them also have secondary degrees or certification in ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis).
• At Mace, the science was supposedly working an on-site garden, planting, harvesting vegetables, selling their crops at a local co-op. The garden remained overgrown until volunteers were called to come in January, more than halfway through the school year, to weed and till it. And I think Jerry maybe visited it twice after that before the school year ended. Thus, no science. At Impact, Jerry actually did work in their garden, planting and watering, IN ADDITION to completing science in the classroom.
• At Mace, a student's IEP stood for Individual Education Proposal, as it was seldom followed. For example, Jerry was asked to do triple-digit subtraction with borrowing when his IEP goals in math began with mastering rote counting to 50 and single-digit addition with no carrying. I saw the worksheet, complete with tear stains and rips from where he had to keep erasing wrong answers. At Impact, not only were Jerry's IEP goals the PLAN to teach him, but they were his educational blueprint and followed devoutly, only being adjusted at our request.
• At Mace, I received home approximately 10 sheets of classwork as proof of an entire year's worth of school...and there was never homework. At Impact, well, look at the picture above to see the literal stack of classwork that came home weekly as proof that Jerry was working towards his educational goals. And he even got occasional homework.
• At Mace, the classrooms were painted gray and the walls bare and cold, similar to ones you might find in a prison. At Impact, Jerry's classroom was bright and colorful and the walls were strewn with charts, words of encouragement, posters, etc...
• At Mace, security was at best, laughable. Jerry ran from his classroom and the immediate school grounds a number of times and had to be chased. At Impact, there is a security feature in place ensuring that the doors to the exterior cannot be oped by the students at all.
• At Mace, parental involvement in the individual classrooms was not promoted or encouraged, though there were definitely offers to volunteer. At Impact, parents are encouraged  and welcomed to help, do crafts with the kids, read to them, accompany them on outings, etc...
• At Mace, there was a classroom where students were supposed to go weekly to learn life skills, like using a microwave, making their bed, putting dishes away, general housekeeping skills. At Impact, there are also several life skills rooms, but they actually get used. Jerry made waffles from scratch this past year. In addition, Impact has a program where they take the older students off campus to learn employment skills such as working at Publix! 
• At Mace, when Jeremiah displayed adverse behavior, he was shamed, verbally abused, lost privileges, and there is reason to believe even physically reprimanded (note: all of these by his last and worst teacher that school year). At Impact, Jeremiah is taken into a cool down room where he can't hurt himself or others, he is encouraged to change his behavior so as to earn going back to class, and is never yelled at, grabbed, or belittled. And during one of Jerry's worst days this past year, his ABA recorded 242 times of physical aggression towards himself or others. 242 times! In six hours! The next day, when I pulled up to drop Jerry off at school, he was welcomed with hugs and high-5's, and words of affirmation and affection. Impact knows the importance of fresh starts, grace, mercy, and forgiveness.
• Mace - a place of smoke and mirrors, mirages, facades, imposters. Impact - What you see is what you get. They are genuine, open, honest, and their intentions honorable.

I could go on, but I think you get the point. And mind you, I am speaking only of Jerry's experience at Mace. His classrooms. His teachers. His individual experiences at the school. I cannot speak for the other parents or students there. But the constant overturn of teachers, the fact that the entire ABA staff quit mid-year, and the recognition of other Mace students now at Impact...well, that speaks volumes. So do the majority of their reviews on Google and social media.

Jerry's last day of school at Impact for this year was today. In the photo above, you will see a picture he came home with, as well as a thank you card from his teacher. A thank you card. Any of you who personally know of Jeremiah's behavior struggles this past year know that, if anything, we should be writing thank you cards...to the teacher, aides, administrators, janitors, therapists, and ABA's. We are forever indebted to them for their patience and unconditional love with Jerry this year. And yet Ms. Jessica, in her thank you card to us, used words like "blessed" and "amazing" when speaking of her opportunity to teach Jerry. On the picture that had all of his classmates' and friends' fingerprints, she described Jerry as incredible, smart, funny, caring, and loving. 

In the end, the totals were 73 gold days, 31 silver, and 48 bronze (being days that physical aggression was routine). He was Student of the Day 7 times and finished strong as May's Student of the Month. There were never any tears of not wanting to return as we had witnessed the previous year and I think some ground was thankfully regained when it came to Jerry's self-confidence and esteem. 

And that, is special education at its finest. 



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